Tuesday, June 10, 2003
whoever says MONDAY always SUCKS, you are SO damn right!!!
i was running around like crazy at work on Monday...maaaaan..that was horrible! Had to send the ads up. Then the Application Modules didnt work with me pretty good when I tried to build the batch. Sent the tpr's off batch, verify the Fleming's bills, (again) worked with the ads. It seemed that things weren't working right with me that day!!!
Slightly crossed in my mind , 'Oh please, would someone just punch me in the nose so I could just go home' ...but oh well, never did happen..and that would be a big
ouch to have someone punch your nose..hey...at least the insurance company would probably pay for a nose job..might as well!!!
Though I feel so much better after reading this (joke) email...Hey!!! My job isn't that bad after all.......
Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office.I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now since I don't have any
hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say Iaborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-waterdecompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing
but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my b*tt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to yourself. "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job..."
jotted down by ibunyanadjAidan
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